There is a widespread misperception that what others think of us matters greatly. Therefore, we spend a significant amount of our life energy trying to influence others' perceptions of us. We work hard to impress by getting the right house, the right car, the right clothes, and the right what have you. We defend, explain, and try to prove our worth, sometimes to people we don’t even know. We put up facades, strategize, and try to anticipate others' thoughts and actions while suppressing the authentic aspects of ourselves. Until one day, we can go on no more; our bodies signal to us that it had enough or we face a “catastrophic” life event. Sometimes we even miss those wake-up calls. We do everything we can to make them go away so that we can go back to business as usual, instead of leaning in and listening to what life may be trying to tell us.
The truth is, nothing outside of us can ever have any lasting—negative or positive—impact on us unless we allow it. The allowing generally happens subconsciously, when we are not self-aware and self-regulated. After all, we would not intentionally choose to let things affect us negatively.
If we experience an event that feels uncomfortable or disturbing, valuable lessons can be drawn from such events. Subsequently, all experiences can serve a meaningful purpose. If we refrain from labeling unpleasant events as negative and “need to be avoided in the future,” such events can help us grow in unimaginable ways.
What we think and how we feel about ourselves and the way we see the world is what determine our experiences. If we are not aware of this power within us, seemingly unpleasant events in life can leave us feeling weak and powerless, as if we are the victims of our environment.
Role Of Confidence In The Workplace
Confidence is the most powerful trait of a person in all areas of life, including, but not limited to the workplace. It plays a major role in a person’s success. Let us first define confidence: confidence is what we think and how we feel about ourselves. The basis of confidence is trust; trusting ourselves and our abilities; believing that we can have, be, and achieve everything that we desire; knowing that we can cope with the challenges of life.
How we see others and the world also impacts our confidence. A healthy level of trust in others is technically a part of it. When we think negatively about others, it erodes trust in life and lowers overall confidence.
How we feel about ourselves also determines how others treat us. This is particularly critical in the workplace, where we spend the majority of our productive time. When we feel confident, others can easily pick up on it and (consciously or subconsciously) behave in self-fulfilling ways.
Therefore, if we believe that someone behaved inappropriately toward us, it is not sufficient to only communicate this to them. We also need to examine our underlying thoughts and emotions; the way we think and feel about ourselves and others. Also, unless we learn the lessons from any negative experience, we will draw similar experiences to us until the (empowering) lessons are learned. Naturally, that doesn’t mean that anyone is justified to ill-behave toward us. It just means that if we want to change how we are treated in any given situation, at work, in personal relationships, or any other situation, we also need to work on the way we think and feel about ourselves. If we do, the rewards are great. We become more and more confident. Life becomes more and more effortless, and we experience more joy.
High
confidence comes with great benefits in the workplace: we are less likely to
feel criticized or offended by others. In turn, we are less likely to criticize
them. We are also more likely to be supportive of others and assume that they
have good intentions. Meaning, confidence is one of the key factors that
determine our success in the workplace. Moreover, our confidence impacts not
only our experiences in the workplace but also the experience of others.
In a nutshell, our state of being impacts the overall morale in our
workplaces.
Source Of Low Confidence: Negative Thoughts, Limiting Beliefs
A person can be super-confident in one or more areas and lack confidence in other areas. The cause of low confidence is usually underlying limiting beliefs and associated emotions.
A limiting belief is a deeply anchored negative thought; predominantly, in the subconscious mind. It runs like a software program. We acquire these beliefs in various ways. From our parents, teachers, television programs, movies, unpleasant life experiences, and what have you. Many negative beliefs we hold are not more than preconceived notions. We pick them up—consciously or subconsciously—throughout our lives, identify with them, and never stop to examine if they are (or ever were) true. They become a filter through which we see and respond to the world.
Improving Confidence Through Self-Observation And Tuning Into Positivity
We can identify our limiting beliefs through self-observation. Self-observation comes with surprising side effects. The humility that we bring up to observe and question our beliefs leads to something beautiful: we start to see a new world full of possibilities. Our hearts open and we become more joyful, seemingly, for no reason. However, identifying limiting beliefs and opening one’s self up to possibilities is not as easy as it may sound. It is also not an overnight phenomenon. It requires discipline and dedication; it is a practice rather than a one-time fix. Limiting beliefs are often difficult to detect. Depending on their intensity, they have (strong, negative) emotions attached to them. They are anchored in our physiology. Releasing them can sometimes be associated with extreme discomfort. Not knowing what the discomfort may mean, we may not be able to do “the work.” After all, most of us were never taught how to sit with ourselves; how to observe our thoughts and emotions, and how to interpret what comes up.
“When you change the way you look at things,
the things you look at change.” -Dr. Wayne Dyer
However, if we are willing to do the work, we do have the ability to improve our confidence, and subsequently, our lives. Self-observation, tuning into positivity, identifying and releasing negative thoughts, tuning off negativity, reframing the way we interpret events, and learning to self-regulate our thoughts and emotions are only a few of the many methods available.
Humans Are Capable Of Great Changes
We always knew that we are capable of great changes. However, until recently, we didn’t have sufficient information to know how to change. In the past, we made changes through trial and error; usually, learning difficult lessons the hard way. In the last decades, science has made significant strides in the neuroscience, epigenetics, and quantum physics arena. Today, we have an immense amount of scientific information that explains how individual transformation works.
In the next decades, we are going to see major positive shifts in the way human beings operate as many of our old structures will crumble away and be replaced by new structures.
Without a doubt, together, as a species, we are already moving toward more wholeness, love, and understanding…
Sources:
·
Dispenza, J. (2012). Breaking the habit of being yourself: how to
lose your mind and create a new one. Carlsbad, Calif., Hay House.
·
Dispenza, J., & Boyce, A. (2014). You are the placebo: making
your mind matter. [United States], Encephalon.
·
Hawkins, D. (2014). Letting go. The pathway of surrender. Carlsbad,
Calif., Hay House.
·
Lipton, B. H. (2008). The biology of belief: unleashing the power of
consciousness, matter & miracles. Carlsbad, Calif., Hay House.
