When I had to put down my beloved cat Scooter in 2009, a
piece of my heart broke. I experienced a pain which I have no words for
describing. In order to ease the suffering somewhat, I reached out to many
people and inquired about what their religions had to say about death. I hoped to
find an explanation to where my cat went, as it was too unbearable to not know.
I would have loved to believe what my many friends told me: that my cat was
running around in cat heaven and that one day I may see him again, hold him in
my arms, touch and smell his soft fur. In spite of my desperation however,
none of the “options” that I was provided resonated with me.
I was not looking for a temporary crutch of some sort. All I
wanted was, to know the “truth”; an explanation that I can wrap my mind around
so that the loss of Scooter did not hurt as much. At one point of this
spiritual journey, I reached the point where I was ready to face my own version
of the truth: I made peace with the fact that I—a human—will never find out or “understand”
where he went. That is also the moment when I finally made my peace with death,
and subsequently also life, altogether. I not only learned to accept, but also
to welcome and embrace uncertainty.
Today, I accept death as one of the most natural parts of
life; it is authentic and real. Without a doubt, more natural than the lives
that humans are living on this earth. I believe that death is endless peace and
nothingness; not more, not less.
I would not have wanted to come to any other conclusion, no
matter how painful the discovery initially was.
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